While randomly browsing through a library, Stillness Is The Key caught my eye. Before buying it, I skimmed it and checked reviews online which looked promising 🙂

It contains a ton of good content. Some of the explained stuff I have already experienced, but it was still great to read about those and I wish I’d read this book earlier.

The book contains three main parts: the mind, the spirit, and the body. Each of the parts contains several chapters, which usually start with a story and then the author proceeds to make generalizations of that story.

As in my previous blog posts, I will write an overview here.

1. The mind

Some problems require us to slow down and think really deeply about them – gut instinct doesn’t always work, and we should also consider other solutions. This requires unlimited patience, keeping calm (especially if stressed) and understanding others’ perspectives.

The Daoists would say that he had stilled the muddied water in his mind until he could see through it.

Self-righteousness is self-blinding. Ego must not dominate discussions. Pressure should not rush us or cloud our judgment. We need to empty our mind, be fully present and deliberate without being paralyzed.

Don’t reject a difficult or boring moment because it is not exactly what you want. Don’t waste a beautiful moment because you are insecure or shy. Make what you can of what you have been given. Live what can be lived. That’s what excellence is. That’s what presence makes possible.

Napoleon deliberately delayed opening the mail – this allowed him to focus on what really mattered, and the trivial problems solved themselves without him. Deep thought and sober analysis are not enough – time and space must be created for them.

Eisenhower Box – a matrix that orders our priorities by their ratio of urgency and importance.

There is ego in trying to stay up on everything, or be the most informed person in the room and things like this cost us our peace of mind. Analysis paralysis is an operatives’ tactic, yet we do this to ourselves.

Ask yourself at every moment, “Is this necessary?”

If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters. – Epictetus

All this noise. All this information. All these inputs. We are afraid of the silence. We are afraid of looking stupid. We are afraid of missing out. We are afraid of being the bad guy who says, “Nope, not interested.” We’d rather make ourselves miserable than make ourselves a priority, than be our best selves. Than be still . . . and in charge of our own information diet.

After having acquired enough knowledge in a domain, the biggest insights and breakthroughs happen when we consciously empty our mind; when we think, yet we don’t think.

Chop wood, carry water. Chop wood, carry water. Chop wood, carry water. Don’t overanalyze. Do the work.

Mastering our mental domain – as paradoxical as it might seem – requires us to step back from the rigidity of the word “mastery”. We’ll get the stillness we need if we focus on the individual steps, if we embrace the process, and give up chasing. We’ll think better if we aren’t thinking so hard.

The job of a philosopher is to take our impressions – what we see, hear, and think – and put them to the test. – Epictetus

On a regular basis: After emptying our mind, we need to slow down and think. The Zen master Hakuin wanted his students to really think deeply. This is why he asked questions which have no clear answers, yet trigger one to think (e.g. “Does the dog have the Buddha nature?”). The point is to get the students to the state of satori – an illuminating insight. Socratic method is another approach to search for truth, wisdom.

Think about what’s important to you.

Think about what’s actually going on.

Think about what might be hidden from view.

Think about what the rest of the chessboard looks like.

Think about what the meaning of life really is.

The value of journaling as a form of a therapy – offloading words from our mind and onto the paper is very useful to reflect and self-examinate. We can also write down the hard questions and come back to them, regularly.

Each school has its own take on wisdom, but the same themes appear in all of them: The need to ask questions. The need to study and reflect. The importance of intellectual humility. The power of experiences to open our eyes to truth and understanding.

Avoid confirmation bias when reading books – try to get something new out of every book you read.

We want to sit with doubt. We want to savor it. We want to follow it where it leads. Because on the other side is truth.

Find the right mentors and teachers to help you seeking wisdom. What books do they read, how do they act, how did they get there.

Do not mistake the pursuit of wisdom for an endless parade of sunshine and kittens. Wisdom does not immediately produce stillness or clarity.

The story of David and Goliath is one of the best stories we have about the perils of ego, the importance of humility, and the necessity of confidence.

What is better than these two extremes – ego and imposter syndrome? Earned [Confidence]. Rational. Objective. Still. […] And you? Where are you on this spectrum?

An honest understanding of our strengths and weakness that reveals the path to a greater glory: inner peace and a clear mind.

Confident people know what matters. They know when to ignore other people’s opinions. Confident people are open, reflective, and able to see themselves without blinders. All this makes room for stillness

Set thy heart upon thy work, but never on its reward.

The lotus flower is a powerful symbol. It floats freely, serenely on top of the water. It’s beautiful and pure. It is simultaneously attached and detached. This is the balance we want to strike. What we should be doing is practicing, [and not focus too hard on the outcome].

We want consistent focus and wisdom that can be called upon in even the most trying situations. Getting there will require more work. It’s going to require some holistic self-examination

2. Spirit

Most of us would be seized with fear if our bodies went numb, and would do everything possible to avoid it, yet we take no interest at all in the numbing of our souls. – Epictetus

Despite severe physical challenges, Tiger Woods demonstrated extraordinary mental and physical discipline. His story exemplifies the power of the human spirit to transcend limits, even in the face of immense pressure. His relationship with his father, who pushed him to the breaking point, underscores the impact of parental influence on our spiritual well-being. This relentless drive can lead to an existential crisis, where success and material gains fail to bring happiness.

“He constantly put me down,” Tiger said later. “He would push me to the breaking point, then back off. It was wild.”

On the surface of the ocean there is stillness, but underneath there are currents. – Thich Nhat Hanh

For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? – Jesus

True spiritual stillness requires a strong moral compass. Developing virtues like honesty, patience, kindness, and forgiveness helps us navigate life with clarity and peace.

Mental stillness is fleeting if our hearts are on fire or our souls ache with emptiness. We must confront and heal the wounds of our past to achieve lasting peace.

Marcus Aurelius advocated for self-examination to understand the state of our soul. This process is crucial, especially as we achieve success, to ensure we remain grounded and virtuous.

Virtue: Upright. Modest. Straightforward. Sane. Cooperative. Honest. Patient. Caring. Kind. Brave. Calm. Firm. Generous. Forgiving. Righteous.

When we’re going into a tough assignment, we can say to ourselves over and over again, “Strength and courage.” Before a tough conversation with a significant other: “Patience and kindness.” In times of corruption and evil: “Goodness and honesty.”

Virtuous life is worthwhile for its own sake. No one has less serenity than the person who does not know what is right or wrong. No one is more exhausted than the person who, because they lack a moral code, must belabor every decision. The choices we make in that regard determine whether we will experience peace or not. Which is why each of us needs to sit down and examine ourselves. What do we stand for? What do we believe to be essential and important? What are we really living for?

Unchecked desires and envy lead to misery. Epicurus suggested questioning the true value of our desires and their consequences: What will happen to me if I get what I want? How will I feel after? By resisting impulsive urges, we develop spiritual strength and find deeper peace.

Recognizing and appreciating what we already have brings a sense of “enough”. This gratitude allows for presence, clarity, and insight, allowing us to experience true stillness.

The ability to see beauty in the mundane transforms our perception of the world. This “poet’s eye” helps us find stillness in everyday life.

Only those of us who take the time to explore, to question, to extrapolate the consequences of our desires have an opportunity to overcome them and to stop regrets before they start. Only they know that real pleasure lies in having a soul that’s true and stable, happy and secure.

At the purest level, the only thing that matters to any father or mother-or any creator-is that their children find peace, find meaning, find purpose

Stillness is best shared. Strong relationships, whether with a mentor, spouse, or friend, provide support and help us grow. The best decision in life is finding a partner who complements and supports us.

Love is spelled through time, work, sacrifice, and commitment. Building and maintaining relationships require effort, but the rewards are profound.

We are incomplete alone. Stillness and fulfillment come from our connections with others. A balanced life includes love, work, and community, all contributing to our spiritual well-being.

3. Body

A friend noted how beneficial it was for Churchill to engage with the earth, illustrating the grounding effect of nature. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is nothing, just as Churchill found peace in inactivity on his porch.

We will be reflective, we will be responsible and moderate, and we will find time to relax in nature.

True stillness encompasses not only the mind and spirit but also the body. Our physical habits, what we consume, where we live, and our routines all contribute to our overall well-being.

The advantages of nonaction. Few in the world attain these. – The Daodejing

Fabius Cunctator, known as “The Delayer”, exemplifies the power of patience and strategic inaction, teaching leaders to wait and think rather than rush into decisions.

You don’t solve a maze by rushing through. You have to stop and think. You have to walk slowly and carefully, reining in your energy – otherwise you’ll get hopelessly lost.

Walking, though an activity, can lead to stillness. It involves repetitive, deliberate motion that calms the mind. By being present and aware during a walk, we can experience peace and let go of pressing problems.

The key to a good walk is to be aware. To be present and open to the experience. Put your phone away. Put the pressing problems of your life away, or rather let them melt away as you move. Look down at your feet. What are they doing? Notice how effortlessly they move. Is it you who’s doing that? Or do they just sort of move on their own? Listen to the sound of the leaves crunching underfoot. Feel the ground pushing back against you.

Greatness requires discipline. In an unpredictable world, good habits provide a safe haven. Order is a prerequisite for excellence, and discipline maintains freedom and power, preventing chaos and complacency.

For inspiration, take as your model Japanese flower arrangers: Orderly. Quiet. Focused. Clean. Fresh. Deliberate. You will not find them trying to practice in noisy coffee shops or bleary-eyed in a rush at 3 a.m. because they planned poorly. You will not find them picking up their trimmers on a whim, or in their underwear while they talk on the phone to an old friend who has just called. All of that is too random, too chaotic for the true master. A master is in control. A master has a system. A master turns the ordinary into the sacred. And so must we.

It’s difficult to understand yourself if you are never by yourself. Solitude is crucial for self-understanding. It allows us to reflect and achieve clarity. Morning solitude, before the day’s chaos begins, is particularly conducive to stillness. Solitude allows you to reflect while others are reacting.

Who isn’t stiller in the morning, or when they’re up before the house stirs, before the phone rings or the commutes have begun?

Moderation and knowing our limits are key. Our bodies are gifts, and overworking them leads to burnout. We must protect and cherish our physical selves, avoiding the trap of constant busyness.

It’s human being, not human doing, for a reason. Moderation. Being present. Knowing your limits. This is the key. The body that each of us has was a gift. Don’t work it to death. Don’t burn it out. Protect the gift.

The overworked person creates a crisis that they try to solve by working harder.

This is the main question, with what activity one’s leisure is filled. – Aristotle

Leisure is not the absence of activity but engaging in activities without external justification. It’s about doing something for yourself.

If an action tires your body but puts your heart at ease, do it. – Xunzi

You have to be still enough to discover what’s really going on. You have to let the muddy water settle. That can’t happen if you’re jetting off from one place to another, if you’re packing your schedule with every activity you can think of in order to avoid the possibility of having to spend even a moment alone with your own thoughts.

Idleness is not recklessness; it is an investment in our well-being. Leisure activities with no external purpose nourish our souls, helping us discover what’s truly important.

High-minded thoughts are valuable, but actions matter most. Regularly doing good and contributing to the community provides a sense of belonging and fulfillment. True believers understand that belief alone is not enough – action is what brings fulfillment and peace.